Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
