you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
