Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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