his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
