I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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