And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
