He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
