apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
