Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
