i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
