I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
