I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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