Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize