Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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