the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
