Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
