Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
