she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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