Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
