just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
