the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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