Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
