Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
