don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
