so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
