so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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