i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
