"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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