I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
