spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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