We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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