you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
