Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
