Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
