ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you will always have a special place in my vag
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
