More tranny stories later!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
