Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
