Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
