i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
