he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
