y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize