It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
