Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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