I'm drive I can fine osifer
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
