Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
