It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
