I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My vagina just clenched in fear
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
