Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
