If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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