I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
