i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
