the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
