I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
