Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
