Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize