I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
