It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
do herpes really smell.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize