Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Someone shattered a urinal.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
