white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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