I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
