I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
