Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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