On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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