Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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