I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Randomize
