There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
